I saw him. He appeared in my room- my room. Out of all places, out of anywhere in the world, he chose to visit me. Sadie says I’m crazy, but she’s the crazy one. He was there; I swear by it.
It was Christmas Eve, just two weeks ago; mom had just put me in my PJs after the Christmas party we have every year. My whole family was there: Granny, Grampy, Uncle Louis, Aunt Judy… even my cousin Mary! And she left us a few months ago for college- what a fancy thing to think about! I’m surprised her boyfriend wasn’t there, but I chose not to ask; Mama was talking with her the whole time and Mama doesn’t like it when I bother her. So, I just played with my two favorite cousins.
The gift exchange was huge this year. I got so so so many dolls from my aunts, the best one being the Tinker Bell with movable wings. I chased my brother Billy all around the house with her, telling him that he was going to become a fairy with Tink’s pixie dust.
“No! No! No!” he said, crying over to Pete.
Ugh, Pete. The guy Mama’s been dating. She tells me that Dad is away for a little trip; he won’t be back for a while. So now she’s been hanging out with Pete a lot. Pete scares me, I don’t like him. His hair is way too orange, his smile is way too wide, and he’s just a little too tall for my liking. He got me a shirt for Christmas; I don’t even like it, it’s green. It’s such an ugly color. Pete should go; Dad would know what to do with him.
Like for instance when Billy cried to him, Pete took my doll away. For no reason. He said that Mama would give Tink back to me, and she never did. Pete has a spell on Mama, I know it.
The thing is, even Sadie likes Pete. Sadie, my older sister who I love so much. We used to play together so much, but she’s been doing so much school work lately. And Pete encourages it. She and Pete go over her homework all the time, study through books, always writing through adult things; Pete never goes over my homework. And when he does, it doesn’t help. He always uses the wrong colored crayon and he doesn’t do it right; why doesn’t he know that Ms. Polly wanted the things starting with A in red and the things starting with C in yellow?
Pete got Sadie some boring “testing book” for Christmas. Not a cute skirt like she usually likes. But instead of being sad, she was actually happy. I don’t believe that for one second, though.
Anyways, Christmas Eve.
I had gotten into my pajamas, and Mama tucked me into bed. Everyone was still downstairs but I was a bit sleepy, so I asked to go to bed early. Mama gave me my favorite stuffed animal and kissed me on the forehead.
“Mama,” I asked, “Is Santa coming?”
Mama looked at me, and let out a sigh. “Santa comes every year, my darling. Even for you.”
“Will he have lots of presents for me?”
“Well, were you good this year?”
“I think so!”
“Such as…?”
“That one time I gave Stinky Pete that card for his birthday- I gave it to him just like you asked, Mama, and that was real good of me! Good enough for a million presents!”
“Well, we’ll see; sometimes there’s naughty kids.”
“I’m not naughty, Mama, I promise! There was also when I shared my ice cream with that strange man who tried to talk to you, you know, the man with that weird white beard, and this other-”
“Okay, okay, I see, I see. But remember what I told you about talking with strangers.”
“But he was real nice! He said hi to me and everything- he even gave me candy!”
“He was not nice, he tried to hurt me and he tried to hurt you. Besides, never take candy from someone you don’t know, especially not him; he’s a bad, bad, man, darling. You see him, go the other way, okay? Even if he says your name?”
“Fine; I guess.”
“Alright. Have sweet dreams, my Kinsie.”
“Good night, Mama.”
Mama gave me another kiss, turned on my nightlight, and closed the door.
I tried to go to sleep, I really did. But I was just so excited. Santa was coming, and I’d wake up to see so many presents under the tree. I laid in my bed, hugging my stuffed animal, and stared at the ceiling, waiting to hear Santa on my roof. Waiting to hear the bells and the reindeer, perhaps the red glow of Rudolph’s nose.
I must have waited long enough, because I did see the red light. I remember, so distinctly, the way my entire room filled up with the red lights of the sleigh approaching my house. I almost let out a scream of excitement but I kept my mouth shut with my stuffie; if Santa heard me, he’d probably wait until I actually did fall asleep.
I waited a little bit, then I heard a thump outside. The familiar thump of Santa walking on the roof. I heard a couple of knocks, some whispers, and the crunch of snow outside. I suppose Santa doesn’t always land on roofs, because he walked around for a while. And I suppose he must have unique ways of entering houses without chimneys, because he entered through my window!
The moment I saw his shadow, though, I closed my eyes; he had to know I was asleep.
I listened for him to walk through my bedroom. The reason I know it was Santa, though, is because he knew my name. He walked to my bed, stood for a moment, and kissed my cheek- Santa kissed my cheek - and he said,
“Merry Christmas, my Kinsie.”
Santa said Merry Christmas to me!
He tucked me in ever so carefully and then left my room. I opened my eyes, and I squealed with so much excitement; Santa Claus was in my room!
Everyone in the party was excited too; I knew Santa walked in the room when I heard so many people exclaiming in the living room just down the hallway. Mama’s voice, especially. Little do they know I got my own audience with Santa. After a little, after the voices got the loudest, the door slammed outside. I watched Rudolph’s red glow leave the house; the presents had been delivered.
They must have wanted to tell me, because very soon after Mama opened the door with Pete by her side. I closed my eyes again to fall asleep. I heard Mama sigh a little, and Pete saying something to her, then the door closed.
It was at that point I fell asleep. I dreamt of Santa with his elves, talking all about his favorite child to give presents to (“Oh, how peaceful that Kinsie was sleeping!”) and him, perhaps, returning to my house to watch me sleep and wonder if any other child in the world could be as nice as me. He’d probably pity me for having to deal with Pete and would give my Mama a letter to tell her to break up with him and to wait a bit longer for Dad.
I woke up the next morning, Christmas Day. I ran into the living room, anticipating a mountain of presents with my Mama smiling nearby with her camera to take pictures of me opening everything I got from Santa.
However.
There were only three presents.
Three.
After I had been so good that year.
Santa only gave me three presents?
No; none of them were from Santa.
All three were from Pete, with a label saying,
“Merry Christmas, Kinsie. With love, Pete.”
Pete.
Not Santa.
Santa who took the time to visit me.
Meanwhile, Pete, who doesn’t even care about me, got me three presents.
Something was off.
I looked at Mama.
“I was so good. Why didn’t Santa give me a present?”
“Kinsie, you were naughty.”
“But I wasn’t!”
“Yes, you were. If Santa says so, it’s true.”
“No- it can’t be! Santa visited me!”
Mama looked up. “Santa visited you?”
“Last night! He visited me!”
Sadie rolled her eyes. “No he didn’t, Kins, you must have been dreaming.”
“But- but you all saw him! He walked right in here and gave you presents-” I looked at Pete. Him and his red hair, his stupid red hair! “You did this!”
Mama looked at me. “Kins-”
“No! Pete took all my presents away from Santa just so he could have his own! How could you do this to me? How could you do this to Santa?”
“Kins, he wasn’t-”
“Yes, he was! Pete was a big meanie and I never want to see him again! He’s the naughty one, not me!”
I turned on my heel and returned to my room, making sure to slam the door behind me. I immediately went over to my window and opened it just a crack, so that Santa could return to me and give me the presents I deserve. So he can come back and save me from this hell hole with Pete and Mama. I sat on my bed and waited, facing the window, hugging my stuffie of a white bird close to my chest.
I’m still waiting for Santa, these two weeks later; he’ll come back soon, I know it.